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Saturday, February 21, 2009

Boll-ing Alone: Uwe Boll Watch

It's been a long time, I know. I promise I'll break radio silence more significantly soon.

However, I am watching Uwe Boll's House of the Dead right now. And despite the fact that there are so so many things wrong with this film (as you would expect when CLINT HOWARD is your third billed star!), the following has to take the cake.

Jurgen Prochnow, a gun-smuggling ex-Armed Forces fishing boat captain, has just finished up an exposition dump/flashback about a "crazy Spanish padre" being banished to the New World for his inhumane experiments and he utters the following lines (verified by the English subtitles):

"The Spanish were trying to falling the sands into the limeys. They never made it back to the garrison."

House of the Dead, a movie that doesn't even make sense on a line by line basis!